AYISECACE: Lollest and Llolicious

World On Press


My Lollest and Llolicious moments of 2010 with the confused Kwela Tebza boys featuring the gay goddess Vusi Nongxa came with “Raise your voice” single, later decided to shoot the Chinese number Ching Ching Pha, excuse my writing. Whatever you were trying to do boys…Mzansi’s township Chinese number not so ayoba. What happened to your penny whistle or was it just another way of tries? Vusi Nogxa when is your wedding anniversary… please invite me. How much was the Lobola? I miss that one. Ayisecace!

Still on Chinese celebs, Jen Sue what happened to your lovely music career? If you see Tira of Afrotainment please ask him this year to stop collecting other artist’s awards and keep on making more babies. We all love Durban music,don’t we?


World On press realized the Metro FM Awards turnout was poor whilst DJ Sbu hosted the awards with his skinny jeans, looking like a pink baby girl balloon and David Tlale’s short pants. Not even gay community is on skinny pants, please my Vandal get rid of those or give them away to charity like your car. Ayisecace! We wanna Ghubuluza like Ekasi boys. Gert you promised me a bow tie instead you give away a dress to the Khardashian sisters, whilst they were in the country. What happened to ubuntu? *Tears not falling*Oh how I love Gospel Times please SABC 2 bring it back… not only Sisi Rebecca can finally read the scriptures at the end of every episode but she also speaks English like my late Aunt. *Itchy* I just realized last Sunday’s episode of Gospel Time with the vivacious Maira (Gospel version of Siphokazi) girl not only Sechaba can cry but I was in tears... they fillED my empty cup… not sure about Rebecca’s hug with Sechaba though must say,Ntokozo be warned Maira is the in thing… oh is Ntokozo of Joyous Pregnant? Somebody loosen me here. When are you getting down the aisle sisi? Every year it’s promising?

Still on single people can you tell the difference between Theo Krosingwe, Somisi Mhlongo, Kwela Tebza and 3Sum cause I am struggling to? Oops Theo is still married. Ayisecace! When last did you hear or saw Thembisile Ntaka? What went down to Pop Stars 2010 winners the Ni Niva group? Did they get the house from EMI? If yes how many artist do EMI give houses too because plenty artists are homeless. Thanks to Doc Shebelza and AMAHA for feeling the gap, please remember Zuluboy on this one.

My Lollest saddest moment was when Sliq Angel of Umngqusho fame got dished by Gallo and he also got into a scary motorbike accidents whilst riding at Home in East London during December holidays. Still on Xhosa boys, Lupi Ngcayisa got expelled from Metro FM and he’s all over the country on job search, please help him, given his resent scandal. All the best Bhuti…we all know 2010 was not for you, try 20elevator. Did you manage to pay back the money due to Carducci? Saw Lupi chilling somewhere in Cape Town with Simphiwe Dana. Lupi what happened to you as Unathi Nkayi’s music manager? I wonder what conversation goes in bed between Simphiwe Dana and the new boyfriend. Do you guys talk about Steve Biko? * Rolling eyes*Siphokazi’s new album Ethembeni, the name reminds me of our community project back in the days. Love your smile on the cover sisi though it scares my little 5-year-old nephew away. Nice tracks sisi. Sounds like the reloaded of Ubuntu Bam. *Frozen*

Oh my Zakumi, I hear some Nigerians, thinking Nigeria might hosts the next World Cup adopted him. Niger boys firstly you must not let your FIFA Delicate get into bribes. Still talking football and Vuvuzelas. When USA tried to bribe FIFA committee 2022 bid members to vote for them. What were you guys thinking? Ayisecace! Why was Obama not in S.A during World Cup…oops he was making babies, Mitchell Obama is pregnant, White House confirmed this week. Joys of being the president you make babies whilst others host World Cup. President Zuma can you offer me contact lenses, as I cannot see your wife’s short and mini skirts clearly. How can I forget and another pair of bright and colorful spectacles for Mika Stefano (the rainbow dresser) He ignored or could not recognized me at some function… I had to explain but still... Boy if you stop looking like a live xmas three and start remembering people maybe we can have a chart. I must confess you Rock Jezebel, opps Darling. * runs for his reply*

Bangane what happened in 2010 stays in 2010-untill next time World On Press team is hitting the road for another search of news. Oh yes I hate white people period! Some cheap white looking trash-Onicka from Total Exposure during SA Got Talent shoot tried to bring us down… as we were collecting news. I meant to ask Kuli Roberts for tips on How to get rid of white trash. Check us next time for tips. Now lets see what 20 Elevation has in store for us. If you see us shout! Ayisecace ‘it’s obvious”

AYISECACE:Mzansi’s female celebs drama

World On Press


In 2010 Thandiswa Mazwai, Camagwini and Debra Fraser decided to fly high with their extraordinaire dress designs. Your designer must have smoke Holland dagga. * jumps down from the tree*
Tsidi of Malaika, “the Gun Lady” with here gruesome haircut. “What on earth were you thinking sisi? I wonder what your little girl thinks when mummy has a gun haircut.” Aag poor little Kamo… sad but remembered the late Busi Mhlongo, some of you did notice the Zulu Urban Princess unlike Mama Mirriam Makheba she was not blessed with many husbands all over the world. Catch her first and last big screen appearance on Long Street The movie.

Lira became the cream of Mzansi songbirds with her live recording DVD and the rest followed including Thandiswa Mazwai’s dvd. Did Sis Thandiswa turn into sangoma like Camagwni? Ayisecace! WelI I saw the dvd and yes Ntombethongo, the guitarist can dance better that Beyonce. I still say Nomsa Mazwai rocks.AYISECACE!

AYISECACE: Left behind 2010 Questions

World On Press


Well let me begin this chapter. ’s going to be a long year of freshest gossip yet left behind 2010 questions are:

The Real Goboza Reloaded came back with the search of the male co-presenter, Nkanyiso Bhengu one of the finalists. How on earth do you size the full male figure for a celebrity gossip TV show?
SABC 1, for dumping Joyous Celebration 15 live Recording broadcast during Xmas. God must be craze. Did Lindelani Mkhize have something to do with this? Some Joyous fans couldn’t help it but started cursing SABC 1 on social networks… what happened to Christians and the bible? Or maybe they learn it from the Joyous Tour manager/coordinator who is forever smoking at the Joyous auditions… sisi have some manners it’s a gospel group not kwaitor…what a lesson learned. Lindelani where did you get her from?

Twice Jozi’s richest men dumped Bongie Alexandra of Red Carpet VIP… and now she claims to be behind the S.A Next Top Model. Less than a week she moves with famous football player. World On Press free advice: stick to your Italian boyfriend… don’t you think you still owe us an explanation as what happened at Connie Furgason’s party? Does this have anything to do with Zizi Kodwa? Is Penny Lebyane still a threat to you? Ayisecace!

Debra Fraser, What happened with your taxi and gospel industry? The Nigerian Pastor must have thought you well? Ayisecace! Mama Debra Afro Pop is for Kelly Khumalo and the rest. This is the same year when Native Rhythms artists Camagwini and Zuluboy silently left the company oh and Zonke Dikana could not take it. She’s now back with Kalawa. Oscar you are a life savior. Another memorable moment was when South Africans were taken for a ride by FIFA during the FIFA concert; you don’t mess with Mzansi people as they fought for their freedom. Finally FIFA came into senses line-up with Mzansi’S musos including the non-famous Kwani Experience. Some people should just stick to what they do best. Law and engineering is for Phila Mazibuko, please take my free advice. AYISECACE

AYISECACE! “Obvious”

World On Press


Here is to my favorite 2010 couples:

Zwai and Mel Bala, for making another baby girl. Oh! bhuti what happened with Gospel Gold, we only hear your voice? I must say Palesa girl from Generations she is not doing wonders, her red carpet dresses and not so spiritual presenting skills, makes me to think of Top Billing Gospel show. Any ideas for, Ayisecace!

Trevor and DJ Sbu, Oh yes the boys are so business cherished with Vandal work. Don’t ask me follow them on twitter. My next vote for the best couple at Feather Awards goes out to you vandals. There I said it.
In my dreams: Papa G (Isidingo) and Ruby of Generations… oh how I wish it was real but dreams do come through hey.

Connie and Shaun Furgoson, for hosting me during Her Evolution and Birthday party at Melrose Arch. Good work to My Publicity team and Mrs Dunhill who is now single, next time have security at the door. I am still recovering though, from shady looking guy who set next to me and happens to be Kabelo “Bouga Luv”, Please stick to the restricted areas on such events some of us have been robbed indoors.
Shopie Ndaba and the young dark Wits looking boy. Oh mama we all like you but keep it low with your short dresses. We don’t wanna chase the young boy away.

Oh Bonang and Slique, is still my favorites… though it didn’t work out for them. Bonang girl, are you trying to be the next Khanyi Mbau, with no hidden agenda? Can we all agree that Mama Noellen of 3Talk is getting older and prettier day by day.

Ntando and Hlelo Masina, the YFM twins. Do you girls both believe you are good presenters? I think one of you is an office type of a girl. Think about it. * Hides from fake looks*
Lira and her not so good looking hubby. Lira girl how old is your men? We all know why you guys tie the knot. Ayisecace!

Matthew and Sonia Booth. I like their Khoi and San look. Keep it up guys we want more of hungry yet rich image.
Last but not lust. Phelo Bala and the Yo! TV girl, are you guys dating or is it still a fling or two?