AYISECACE: Lollest and Llolicious

World On Press


My Lollest and Llolicious moments of 2010 with the confused Kwela Tebza boys featuring the gay goddess Vusi Nongxa came with “Raise your voice” single, later decided to shoot the Chinese number Ching Ching Pha, excuse my writing. Whatever you were trying to do boys…Mzansi’s township Chinese number not so ayoba. What happened to your penny whistle or was it just another way of tries? Vusi Nogxa when is your wedding anniversary… please invite me. How much was the Lobola? I miss that one. Ayisecace!

Still on Chinese celebs, Jen Sue what happened to your lovely music career? If you see Tira of Afrotainment please ask him this year to stop collecting other artist’s awards and keep on making more babies. We all love Durban music,don’t we?


World On press realized the Metro FM Awards turnout was poor whilst DJ Sbu hosted the awards with his skinny jeans, looking like a pink baby girl balloon and David Tlale’s short pants. Not even gay community is on skinny pants, please my Vandal get rid of those or give them away to charity like your car. Ayisecace! We wanna Ghubuluza like Ekasi boys. Gert you promised me a bow tie instead you give away a dress to the Khardashian sisters, whilst they were in the country. What happened to ubuntu? *Tears not falling*Oh how I love Gospel Times please SABC 2 bring it back… not only Sisi Rebecca can finally read the scriptures at the end of every episode but she also speaks English like my late Aunt. *Itchy* I just realized last Sunday’s episode of Gospel Time with the vivacious Maira (Gospel version of Siphokazi) girl not only Sechaba can cry but I was in tears... they fillED my empty cup… not sure about Rebecca’s hug with Sechaba though must say,Ntokozo be warned Maira is the in thing… oh is Ntokozo of Joyous Pregnant? Somebody loosen me here. When are you getting down the aisle sisi? Every year it’s promising?

Still on single people can you tell the difference between Theo Krosingwe, Somisi Mhlongo, Kwela Tebza and 3Sum cause I am struggling to? Oops Theo is still married. Ayisecace! When last did you hear or saw Thembisile Ntaka? What went down to Pop Stars 2010 winners the Ni Niva group? Did they get the house from EMI? If yes how many artist do EMI give houses too because plenty artists are homeless. Thanks to Doc Shebelza and AMAHA for feeling the gap, please remember Zuluboy on this one.

My Lollest saddest moment was when Sliq Angel of Umngqusho fame got dished by Gallo and he also got into a scary motorbike accidents whilst riding at Home in East London during December holidays. Still on Xhosa boys, Lupi Ngcayisa got expelled from Metro FM and he’s all over the country on job search, please help him, given his resent scandal. All the best Bhuti…we all know 2010 was not for you, try 20elevator. Did you manage to pay back the money due to Carducci? Saw Lupi chilling somewhere in Cape Town with Simphiwe Dana. Lupi what happened to you as Unathi Nkayi’s music manager? I wonder what conversation goes in bed between Simphiwe Dana and the new boyfriend. Do you guys talk about Steve Biko? * Rolling eyes*Siphokazi’s new album Ethembeni, the name reminds me of our community project back in the days. Love your smile on the cover sisi though it scares my little 5-year-old nephew away. Nice tracks sisi. Sounds like the reloaded of Ubuntu Bam. *Frozen*

Oh my Zakumi, I hear some Nigerians, thinking Nigeria might hosts the next World Cup adopted him. Niger boys firstly you must not let your FIFA Delicate get into bribes. Still talking football and Vuvuzelas. When USA tried to bribe FIFA committee 2022 bid members to vote for them. What were you guys thinking? Ayisecace! Why was Obama not in S.A during World Cup…oops he was making babies, Mitchell Obama is pregnant, White House confirmed this week. Joys of being the president you make babies whilst others host World Cup. President Zuma can you offer me contact lenses, as I cannot see your wife’s short and mini skirts clearly. How can I forget and another pair of bright and colorful spectacles for Mika Stefano (the rainbow dresser) He ignored or could not recognized me at some function… I had to explain but still... Boy if you stop looking like a live xmas three and start remembering people maybe we can have a chart. I must confess you Rock Jezebel, opps Darling. * runs for his reply*

Bangane what happened in 2010 stays in 2010-untill next time World On Press team is hitting the road for another search of news. Oh yes I hate white people period! Some cheap white looking trash-Onicka from Total Exposure during SA Got Talent shoot tried to bring us down… as we were collecting news. I meant to ask Kuli Roberts for tips on How to get rid of white trash. Check us next time for tips. Now lets see what 20 Elevation has in store for us. If you see us shout! Ayisecace ‘it’s obvious”